Fool Me Twice

Annual competition of eloquence and wits.

Who said philosophy needs to be boring? Come to the Royal Square on the 15th of Quercus to hear the best of the best... make fun of each other. The levels of spite between the academics who devouted their entire life to humanities has always been running high. While these professors have trouble holding sharp objects (or any objects that are not books, really), their tongues can cut through any kind of armour and take no prisoners. And that's what the Fool Me Twice tournament is all about. Prove your worth to others by roasting them publicly before other people and then outwit them once more with the best prank ever! This is your time to shine and get back to them after what they said about your mother at lunch!

History

This is a very old tradition, originating some 700 years ago and most people believe it was created to show that even the brightest of the bright can be outsmarted or proven wrong. Some time along the line the contest changed its content of "who can make the best speech" to... this. Some say it got out of hands, others say it was the only way to prevent it from turning into a literal fist fight. It is also strictly forbidden to resolve any of your disputes by a duel, whether you are taking part in the contest or not. No one shall be killed or maimed on this day and breaching this will result into a very public arrest and either a big donation to the victim and/or his family, while the same amount of crowns must also be added to fund the universities. If the person cannot pay, they are locked up in a mad house and are not allowed to hold any sharp objects ever.
In previous decades, it was customary for the contestants to bow first before the statue of the current monarch and then bow to the people. Ever since the monarchy ended, contestants only bow to the spectators and then begin their speech.

Execution

First, you must pay an entrance fee to join the contest. While an academic degree is not necessary, academics are usually the only people caring enough about participating in this tradition to do so. The occasional aspiring politician can also be spotted, because this is a good way to practice your orator skills in a heated environment with little to no consequences. If you don't mind a little humiliation and occasionally some rotten food thrown in your direction.

Cicero by Visconti

"Cicero? More like Caesar's-hoe, amiright?"

Usually there is a time cap on all the speeches, but that depends on the number of contestants. You may use props if you like, but you do not get any extra time to set up. The contest starts at dawn and goes all the way till noon. An honorary judge (traditionally the winner of the previous year) will decide which of the speeches were the best and picks two people to compete in the final round. These two finalist will then have the entire afternoon and evening to out prank the other one. The contest ends at midnight and again, the honorary judge declares the winner and gives him his crown made out of oak leaves.
The main prize however are bragging rights and eternal glory. All the money collected through the entrance fees and from bets on the finalists are used for scholarships for underprivileged youth.

Components and tools

✓ Some money.
✓ Bunch of angry philosophers.
✓ Popcorn.