K2J34K or "The Mega Death Monster Death Space Machine 3 Trillion"

K2J34K or "The Mega Death Monster Death Space Machine 3 Trillion" is a beautiful floating death dorito with a tophat when viewed with it in front of a sun, according to many onlookers. It's composed of many materials on account of regular repairs over several centuries and launches lasers to cause solar flares or melt planets. Sure it can also melt a fleet but doing it with a solar flare really does get those splash damage points.

Purpose / Function

"Being the ultimate tool for the defence of humanity" AKA: RIP anyone who annoys the CHG when this thing is nearby.

Alterations

Well they've certainly slapped more defensive turrets onto it after the incident where a Goner war hero managed to fly his ship right into its biggest nuclear reactor and left it unable to move for several months.

Architecture

It's a really big space ship that's shaped like a Dorito with a top hat. No really the bit that looks like a tophat shoots lasers which melt planets and cause stars to send out massive solar flares and the rest of it is just for directing the laser, protecting the laser, fuelling the laser and making it reasy to repair the laser.

History

Well it all started when the CHG figured out how to duplicate matter, by which I mean a massive computer they made figured it out and now all they need is exotic matter (which unfortunately can't be duplicated and is very difficult to acquire) to make it possible, they knew great things would happen. The first order of business was building a new planet, which took about 8 years and the thing was uninhabitable and needed a further 43 years of terraforming. The possibility of building the matter duplication into a terraforming device was brought up as a way to make inhabitable planets on the go
but then some military dudes were like "nah let's make the Death Star but it looks like a top hat... or a penis" and so we now have this giant laser. Realising that the thing could easily be attacked if not kept under constant guard and someone liking Doritos too much later and we have ourselves the perfect opportunity for future graffiti artists everywhere to make a Bill Cypher joke.
It was used to splatter LIR fleets to bits by shooting stars to produce solar flares that would destroy pretty much any ships that were too close to that side of the star. It was later discovered that this technique brings the expiration date of the star closer by roughly a million years per time but nobody cared because it was an easy way of taking out LIR fleets that were trying to recharge with solar panels. Plus "Ehh that's a problem for our great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grand kids."
A Goner war hero (declared such after this deed) thought it'd be cool if he/she (only the fact that it was one of those filthy Goners is known) flew their ship right into the base's largest reactor core and well let's just say the thing was rendered immobile for months and LIR forces were able to just go around it and wreck havoc in that time. Thanks to this the CHG has decided to have the thing absolutely COATED in various turrets and protected with some ships which are also plastered with turrets to destroy anything that hurts this precious death Dorito.

Alternative Names

Well a common term used by alien hordes and rebel scum when they see it is "oh fuck me"

Type

Arsenal