Inyoni
Sir Inyoni Omncane Khumalo (a.k.a. Miss Reaper)
Who wields a machine gun in each of her hands?
Kids: I-N-yoni!
Who kills aliens while traveling the lands?
Kids: I-N-yoni!
Who's utterly merciless and doesn't get JoJo stands?
Kids: I-N-yoni I-N-yoni IIII-NNNN-yoooniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!
Jolly pirate music plays as entire towns are burnt to the ground and their inhabitants ruthlessly slaughtered
Also Nux Taku more like Nuts In Peru
Physical Description
General Physical Condition
Very, very physically fit. You know Nicola Adams? It'd be a fair fight.
Body Features
Scars from the cat, has a tattoo of a snake going down her arm to signify membership of the mercenary group, which then has a tattoo of it being eaten by an eagle to signify her non-membership and the destruction of the organisation.
Facial Features
SCARS
Physical quirks
Ambidextrous.
Mental characteristics
Personal history
Quicker Version: kidnapped at 3 by hospitalised war criminal mercenary who killed her parents for finding him injured on the streets and snitching after giving him medical treatment cos he ain't killing a kid but ain't getting identified by a child he mistakes for being old enough to properly form memories either,
Woman leading the mercenary group adopts her and trains her into a child soldier after trying to use her as a suicide bomber doesn't work,
Inyoni becomes increasingly badass over time to the point where she's doing parkour and gymnastics at the same time as killing people with her pair of modified UZIs (hey Funimation I heard you like making good anime I'm just sayin' buddy she's basically Thorfinn but with the bonus ability of drawing in simp money but also without the revenge)
Inyoni screws up while guarding an Egyptian politician advocating for war between Egypt and Sudan+Ethiopia over Nile tributaries (it's gonna happen irl just you wait), gets in a fight with Aramis, Aramis stuffs a stray cat in her face before running off and killing the politician and that's where she got most of the scars, which she would go on to pretend came from all sorts of other things. Aged 17 at this point.
Adaego (the woman leading the mercenaries) is mega pissed cos more war = more money for mercenaries so she's like "Inyoni you dumb useless-also-most-dangerous-of-my-soldiers piece of crap go do this side job from an anomalous payer". So anyway the side job is to kill a guy investigating missing children and Inyoni finds newspaper clippings where she looks awfully similar to photos of baby Inyoni with Adaego.
Inyoni returns and is like "ma wtf is this shit" and Adaego is like "okay so that guy there that taught you how to use knives yeah he murdered your parents and then I kept you cos I needed something small and cute for a suicide bombing but that didn't work and I kinda improvised from there".
Inyoni tries to beat up Adaego cos that's basically Inyoni's only emotional outlet, Adaego mistakes it for an attempt to snap her neck and tries to kill Inyoni, and then Inyoni runs tf away and then returns a bit later going "ma please take me back surviving alone in the wilderness occasionally stealing canned food from cornershops ain't fun" but Adaego thinks Inyoni has come back to kill her and tries to kill Inyoni again and then Inyoni stabs Adaego and cries like a baby while hugging Adaego as she dies.
Inyoni visits her sister and through the power of developing an alcohol addiction and being a terrible guest (aside from being unhygienic she beats up her brother in law for tryna stop her from drinking dangerously large amounts of alcohol) gets taken away wasted by some cops who she beats up and steals the police van of after sobering up.
Inyoni rents herself out to mercenary companies as well as being a bodyguard, assassin, etc, is terrible with money, alcohol addiction worsens, buys random stuff she never takes a second look at, tries Nandos food and likes that spice, finds herself an accountant in the form of one of those she bodyguards, and makes some sort-of friendships with other mercenaries.
She, the accountant and the mercenaries she befriends form their own mercenary company called the Black Dogs Sullied Mercenaries (or BDSM. Inyoni doesn't initially know what BDSM means but upon finding out refuses to change the name cos she's a shitlord). Aged 18.5 at this point.
She and her mercenaries only grow more and more terrifying over the next 3 years as their numbers grow, their equipment improves and their skills advance. They also massacre an American mercenary company for trying to have them killed, which the Americans tried to do because Inyoni walked right into a meeting between their leader and an oil tycoon and was like "I took out your guards with my bare hands most of my mercenaries aren't much less dangerous than I am and I'll collapse [insert regime] at half the price."
Aliens crashland in South Africa. Almost every country in the world surrounds the area where they crashlanded with a fucking huge multinational army, including mercenaries hired mostly by the USA.
Inyoni is like "okay BDSM stay put I'm just gonna get my sister and all my family through her the fuck outta South Africa real quick also if the aliens attack immediately run away or surrender" and the aliens attack and her mercenaries surrender and are captured.
Inyoni chats up the leaders of the aliens and comes to an understanding that they're here to make humans into lower citizens rather than enslave or massacre them* and that the aliens do in fact have money that they can pay human mercenaries in. So anyway the aliens hire shitloads of human mercenaries and Inyoni's BDSM army are among them.
*(Although many are enslaved and/or massacred cos of alien law being "if they ain't a citizen you can do whatever to them" + "but Mr Judge these people would obviously try to pretend we just grabbed them off the street and that we burned their faces to stop the facial recognition technology from identifying them as citizens rather than that we lawfully and righteously burned down and kidnapped the inhabitants of a town of a country that had yet to capitulate to the will of our glorious Emperor and gods and even if that country has now capitulated we captured these people *before* the capitulation so we get to keep them and continue to force them to work in our cramped factories making children's toys for the joy of the alien children that will be born here on Earth")
Things get funky when Inyoni is discreetly hired by an alien commander, specifically one that failed to stop some humans from stealing blueprints of alien technology, to fuck up those blueprint thieves and get the blueprints back before they end up in the hands of the African Resistance Alliance (fun fact: only African countries, except the ones that have surrendered to the aliens, are trying to stop the aliens cos the aliens have claimed that they only want Africa).
Those humans are the ARA's 69th Multinational Infantry* Unit, led by Arno and containing both the main character General Aramis and most of Characters that don't get their own articles because I don't have money for premium membership or whatever it's called., all of which is a wolly's way to say this is where she comes into the story.
Long version some of which has been retconned:
When she was 3 a mercenary was in the hospital her parents worked at, and where she was being kept for convenience, and that mercenary killed her parents and kidnapped her to ensure a lack of witnesses. She was then raised as a child soldier, initially with intent to use as a suicide bomber but miraculously survived that, and grew up becoming so adept with machine guns that she could dual wield them with no issue, as well as being proficient in many other forms of killing from knowing how to make her own explosives to use of knives to hand to hand combat, which access to a diet that was surprisingly brilliant for muscle growth until one learns that the mercenary band Inyoni was inducted into was incredibly successful and its members able to regularly eat luxuriously.
During her time as a mercenary, around the age of 17, she encountered General Aramis, who was 14 at the time. The mercenaries were hired to protect a politician in Egypt who was secretly funding several terrorist organisations and attempting to advocate for war between Egypt and Ethiopia under the belief Egypt would win, between whom tensions were building over the issue of building hydroelectric dams on the Nile.
Aramis was among those tasked with killing this politician as a means to weaken some of these organisations, and Aramis and Inyoni fought one another directly, which culminated in Inyoni having Aramis pinned down until he grabbed a feral cat who'd been watching them fight like it was boring television by the scruff of its neck and throwing it in her face. The cat clung to Inyoni's face, scratching at her as she tried to tear it off, and caused the majority of her scars before she ripped it off and threw it away, at which point the cat decided it was time to skedaddle. Practically blinded by the blood that was coming out of her eyes and quickly left dizzy from blood-loss, she was unable to stop Aramis from personally killing the politician.
She was chastised for this by the leader of the mercenary group and her adoptive mother, Adaego. The mission had been especially important as a war between Egypt and Ethiopia, although it would still come, had been made less likely and could've been a brilliant source of income for their mercenary organisation.
Soon afterwards, Inyoni eventually learned about how she'd ended up in the mercenary band from old newspaper clippings she found in the home of a man who'd dedicated his life to tracking down missing children in South Africa - after killing said man on a contract from an anonymous benefactor, that is. The irony of her being tasked to do this alone as a means to make up for her failure is palpable.
Inyoni confronted Adaego about this. Their argument eventually boiled into the wrathful, short-tempered Inyoni trying to hit Adaego, which Adaego mistook for an attempt to seriously harm her as Inyoni was more than capable of killing with her bare hands and it was the first time since infancy Inyoni had attempted any harm on Adaego outside of training. Adaego tried to shoot Inyoni in the leg but missed and Inyoni, now equally thinking that was an attempt on her life, yeeted herself through a window and ran away. Adaego resolved that Inyoni had become too difficult to control, even after Inyoni remotely explained that there was no death intended and that she wanted to return, and decided to kill her, but this ultimately resulted in Inyoni killing Adaego instead. Confused yet?
Inyoni went to South Africa and met her older sister, who'd been in preschool and oblivious when her parents were killed, and was wracked with jealousy at the stable, safe life her sister had with their aunt, uncle and cousins, as well as finding herself pretty much unable to interact with her own little niece and 2 nephews, on one occasion unintentionally bruising the oldest due to her overly strong grip when picking them up.
Developing a drinking addiction when she almost hospitalised herself chugging down every drop her brother-in-law had stored under the stairs for special occasions, breaking a chair to pieces in a fit of rage and, the final straw, shoplifting alcohol from the very corner-shop her sister worked at and injuring her brother-in-law in a fight she initiated with him over the issue finally led to Inyoni's sister calling the police and informing them of the presence of a wanted war criminal in her home without Inyoni knowing.
Inyoni was on her way, yet again drunk, in a police van with 4 cops, when she killed one and severely injured the others before leaving them on the roadside to hope an ambulance arrived in time to make sure they didn't die of internal bleeding while Inyoni drove off in the van, feeling pretty betrayed by her sister.
Inyoni began her own mercenary company, initially renting just herself out to other mercenary companies in need of an especially capable fighter to carry out their contracts and on another occasion as a bodyguard to yet another politician with more success, but when she'd built up the funding and built a reputation that showed she could lead a team of killers just as much as she was a killer she formed her own organisation which would end up containing a fair number of Adaego's former soldiers.
By the time our intrepid, jaded Inyoni would take centre stage in the events of the Saga of the Crashland Invasion, she'd be wanted for a huge list of war crimes and have made a mark, albeit a somewhat negligible one as a few less people to kill and enslave and the borders of the nations they conquered being different isn't that big of a deal to alien invaders, on history due to the wars she'd already shifted the tides of and the destruction she'd incurred.
Sexuality
I think her having 4 kids with a member of the male species can reveal the answer to that.
Education
Was taught about poisoning people, dual-wielding machine guns, some basic mechanical skills, how to operate various weapons, etc by the mercenary group.
Employment
Mercenary -> Mercenary
Accomplishments & Achievements
Wow, Inyoni, imagine how helpful each of those people you killed could've been against the aliens. Good job on killing so many aliens and stopping their nukes from being a problem, tho.
Failures & Embarrassments
Some nukes slipped by her. RIP Berlin. Also that time Aramis killed the politician. And a few other things.
Mental Trauma
BRUH
Intellectual Characteristics
Extremely cunning and good at predicting how people and animals will respond to certain situations.
Morality & Philosophy
Morality not found. Would you like suppressed compassion and ruthless bloodlust and greed instead?
Personality Characteristics
Motivation
$$$$$$$$
Savvies & Ineptitudes
Using anything where she has to repeatedly pull the trigger to fire the weapons: it's gotta be holdin' down = spray or she ain't gonna use it effectively.
Likes & Dislikes
Likes: Adrenaline rushes, alcohol, spicy foods, dogs, wild animals -> especially elephants, getting food at McDonalds and putting Nandos sauce on it, etc
Dislikes: Sugary foods, poachers, cats, children, guns where you can't just hold down the trigger
Virtues & Personality perks
Cunning and brave... yeah that's it you're gonna have to read the books and bear witness to that character development if you wanna see more.
Vices & Personality flaws
Underestimates risk, greed, arrogance, jaded, short-tempered, violent, alcoholism, adrenaline addict.
Personality Quirks
Her lips open but her jaw does not when confused. Grinds her teeth in her sleep.
Hygiene
Yes... about that... she um... can go days at a time without showering and not see a problem with it.
Social
Contacts & Relations
She's extremely well known and has appeared in numerous news articles. She's fully, properly famous for her exploits and horrific acts.
Family Ties
Has a sister in South Africa but the love between them is kinda sour.
Religious Views
Agnostic.
Social Aptitude
She's basically a bully and the entire human race, herself included, are her victims whenever she talks to them. If she weren't so goddamn good at what she does nobody would hire her.
Mannerisms
If feeling somehow unsafe she will have her hands on her hips, usually with her guns there and if not gripping her hips as if they're there so hard that extended amounts of time like this can cause bruising.
However, when flexing or feeling like she's winning an argument she will put her hands behind her head, with her elbows up. This is not to be mistaken for an opening to attack as she keeps knives in her hair and has designed the holsters of her guns so that it's very difficult for anyone but the wearer to draw the guns.
Hobbies & Pets
Has a pair of attack dogs that used to belong to one of her soldiers, but said soldier was killed in the Egypt-Ethiopia war.
Speech
Will put her hands behind her head, with her elbows up, whenever she's flexing or feels like she's winning an argument.
Wealth & Financial state
Has a vault in a cave full of mines and other traps containing gold, oil, weapons, money in numerous currencies. In short not only is she probably rich no matter what wrecks the economy but she's got weapons and ammo stored up so she can make herself rich if all the goodies in there somehow becomes worthless.
Year of Birth
2007 CurlyWurly
966 Years old
Circumstances of Birth
Born as the daughter of a doctor and a nurse (oh I sure do wonder how they met or what passion brought them together), with 2 older sisters.
Circumstances of Death
She defected to South Africa to fight the Goners there as she considered protecting a location that people actually lived in more important than the Antarctic's uranium. She got a plasma blast to the belly.
Birthplace
South Africa.
Children
Current Residence
Alongside her dead children, with her shrine having the words "lawless hero" on it, right next to her son who has the entire lyrics of "soldier boy" from Avatar on his.
Gender
Female
Eyes
Brown
Hair
Long, thicc dreadlocks. Varying between brown and black at parts as she never cuts her hair.
Skin Tone/Pigmentation
Black, slightly dark-skinned.
Height
5'8
Weight
72 kg
Quotes & Catchphrases
"Nothing has a constant worth, so I might as well try and get as much of every kind of wealth as possible" - Inyoni explaining why her vault contains money of dozens of currencies, gold, silver, obscure collectables, weapons, ammo and several barrels of oil.
Aligned Organization
Other Affiliations
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Noice.