The Sorrowful Needle Geographic Location in Barenae | World Anvil

The Sorrowful Needle

It towered in silence in the middle of the clearing. On the days when there were no clouds in the sky of Ferolia, it felt to him like it was going to stab into Cerenau at any moment. Elzebo sat down in his old chair and cleaned the ink jars on the porch of the house. Everybody was making the last preparations for the Nectar Festival and that meant lots of drunk clients and a lot of cheap business for the tattooing industry. But his mind was only focused on keeping up with his eyes, which were occupied climbing the mountainside of the Needle.

He remembered how Nana used to tell stories of how the Needle was older than everything around it - older than Rediemo, older than Ferolia, older than the Sylvan, older even than Nana. He took his pointy fingers and scrambled his dry hair. He was also getting old, he would be next in line for eldest in the family after his mother. But no matter how long his life had gone on, that spire had always been there. 
He would miss it whenever he was to part ways with life and leave his body behind. When the time was right, his sould would be cremated in the interior of the Redeemer and he would give new life to all Barenae. But he was certain of a single grim truth:

The Needle would still remain even after the death of Barenae.
Deep inside the section of Hadana, the tribes of the Jeber'zin decided to end their nomadic lifestyle and settle down. Little did they know that not long after a great Leviathan, swimming across the fabric of reality would collide with the wandering shards of Barenae. With vile intention and a habit to see red, its jaws attempted to consume the world. But as the Redeemer willed, it was not yet the time for its annihilation.

The planet blinked into a safe space, only briefly brushing the surface of Ferolia against the skin of the monster, tearing the forests and leaving behind a trophy of a retreat well executed: A spine of the monster's skin, a needle that tainted the earth around it and scarred Hadana, although it provided a new opportunity for the tribes to explore.

Worlds of Death and Thousands of Arrows

As the behemoth tore through space, a small object appeared on its periphery. It looked easy to swallow whole. It swam downwards, with its jaws open, as the planet became bigger before its eyes. But something fired back from it. It felt a shock on all of its body and a sting on the neck. The leviathan's hunger was replaced by a scream that the void of space absorbed in its entirety. The planet had disappeared and with it, a piece of its body.

On land, the blissful ignorance of the fact that a massive creature could have destroyed Barenae was quickly replaced by panicked eyes and the panic of the Jeber'zin. The old records speak of an enormous rock falling from the sky during a council of the tribes. The goblins had decided to renounce their old ways and start to form a new society, but the Needle had other plans. It destroyed everything it touched. Thousands were killed in the impact and the scattering of toxic dust that rose around it. Those fortunate enough to flee the dangerous radius could not return, as their memories had also been attacked. They wanted to forget. To leave that place for eternity.

Wounded Grass and Stitches of Bone

The pain coursed through the spine for years. The earth around the base splintered and revealed a deep well of toxic liquid. All life on the clearing wilted and the trees turned into rotten carcasses. The goblins buried their dead and abandoned the crash site, unknowingly carrying the mark of the Needle. Many died days and weeks later to illness, although fortunately, it did not spread through the rest of Hadana.

With the animals dead and the population unsure of how to deal with the disaster, the area was considered to be too contaminated to be habitable, so the center of Hadana became unreachable by foot. Any person riding an aerial mount could scout the area, although the visibility was greatly impaired by the dense smoke that had formed on the clearing and its surroundings. Only thorned vines grew across the ground, where insects and mutated toads took hold of the Needle's domains, while the Jeber'zin managed to overcome their differences in their common interest to push the corruption back.

Wells of Ill and Brands of Friendship

As the mist faded with the decades, the Goblin clans of Hadana, now under the flag of the Kunin'zin, composed a spell to incinerate the air around the Needle and purify the toxins. Even with the combined force of the best casters of all of the tribes, it wouldn't have been enough if not for the Sylvan Light, that finally decided to show up and channel the first blaze into the arcane circle.
 
The magic began to spark into an infernal torrent. The fire could be seen from all the section of Ku'Bani. As the pillar of flame rose, the Needle stayed and resisted defiantly. But the danger of the atmosphere faded. They could return to their lands and honor their ancestors.
 
The inhabitants of Barenae eventually came to a silent agreement with the monument, figuring out how to use the environment properly and how to turn the barren waste into a place worth living in. And as time passed, people took the Needle for granted, forgetting the start of its existence, but still honoring the Dead and their deeds every day.
SummerCamp 2021 Prompt #7: An area, or geographical landmark, wrapped in myth, legend, or supersticion.
Alternative Name(s)
Zaharsda, Spear of Doom, Mt.Needle, The Seamstress
Type
Mountain / Hill

The Boons of the Needle

The mist was lifted and the Needle's outskirts were colonized. However, the Spear is surrounded by wells of toxic liquids of various natures. If properly caught with glass containers, these make for very powerful venom and acidic components, which the Kunin'zin sell to the appropriate professionals or utilize to erode the environment to excavate as they see fit.

Centuries of living under the Needle have hardened the citizens there. The Hadana goblins are known for having extremely tough skin, almost shell-like, that has pointy sections which help them climb trees and attach to big animals.

The mutated creatures that inhabit the Needle have also been sometimes turned better through the years and under the careful treatment of the goblins there. The Ink farms are tended to in a careful manner and its material is one of the best for high-quality government documents or precise arcane incantations.

The Seamstress

The Needle was chosen alongside another 10 landmarks of Ferolia to compose an annual categorization of individuals around divination and personality definitions.

People of the Needle (or Tailors), born between the 11th of Erze and the 11th of Nida, are known to be hardworking, perfectionists, and very wary of changes. They are practical, but they have a big heart and an optimistic outlook.

This horoscope has begun to gain interest from other parts of Barenae, where each shard has started to nominate some of their own landmarks to compose new divination schemes.

Comments

Please Login in order to comment!
Jul 9, 2021 21:34

"The days when there were no clouds in the sky of Ferolia, " Consider "On the days"   "it felt like it was going to stab into Cerenau at any moment." Consider "It felt to Elzebo like..."   "Elzebo cleaned the ink jars on the porch of the house, sat down in an old chair." Change the order as one would expect to sit down before cleaning.   "Everybody was making the last preparations for the Nectar Festival and that meant lots of drunk clients and a lot of cheap business for the tattooing industry. But his mind was only focused on keeping up with his eyes, which were occupied climbing the mountainside of the Needle." Consider "Even though others were making their last preparations for the Nectar Festival, his mind was only focused on keeping up with his eyes as they climbed the mountainside of the Needle" I'm not sure talking about drunk clients and cheap business adds anything here as the focus is not on the festival, but Elzebo and their obsession with the needle.   "Nana used to tell stories of how the Needle was older" Non-sequitor...Consider tying it in better to what is going on with "Elzebo remembered how Nana" or "Everyone remembers how Nana"   "Older than Rediemo, older than Ferolia, older than the Sylvan, older even than Nana." None of these are independent sentences, so attach them to the sentence in front with a hyphen. "than everything around it - older than Rdeimo..." That way they give better strength to the sentence. Don't use comma as you want a strong pause there.   "But no matter how long his life had gone on, that Spire always had been there. " Ok, this statement seems weird. You say Elzebo is getting old, but you do not say he IS old. there is a difference. In no other way do you indicate he is old. Therefore, the sudden comparison to how long his life had gone on, which we don't know how long that is, is weak and gives me no sense of the age of the spire.   " Spire always had been there." Do not capitalize Spire and consider "had always been there" as that is the common way the phrase is said.   "He would miss it whenever he was to part ways with life and leave his body behind. He was certain of a single truth:" The final sentence here does not belong in that paragraph. and yet by itself (or even with the following death of barenae sentence) it is too alone. consider expanding a bit more on single truth and the death of barenea into a whole stand alone paragraph.   "Leviathan would swim across the fabric of reality and collide with the wandering shards of Barenae" Is this better said, "Leviathon, swimming across the fabric of reality, would collide..." Also, is Barenae a planet or shards? They are VERY different images.   "finish the existence of the planet" too poetic, go for a simpler "consume the planet", "Destroy the planet"   "But as the Redeemer willed, it was not yet the time for annihilation." Is the first 'the' correct? just want you to consider as I don't know. Between for and annihalation, need an 'its'.   "The planet blinked into a safe space, only brushing its interior against the skin of the monster, tearing the forests and leaving behind a trophy of a retreat well executed: A spine of the monster's skin, a needle that tainted the earth around it and scarred Hadana as much as it led the tribes to find new solutions." very much a run on. how does the interior of a planet brush against the skin of a monther. and what the heck is "as much as it led the tribes to find new solutions." I think this paragraph needs work.   "As the behemoth tore through the cosmic dust,..." Ok, so you told me what happened in the previous paragraphs and now you are telling me again, and the story is different a bit, and I don't know what Worlds of Death and thousands of arrows even have to do with this section. So, let the first two paragraphs be a description of what it looks like if you must have them. Give it a proper header. Also include what seems to be the positive and negative result of the needle, which is I think what you mean by find new solutions. Then, the next section can be about its origin story.   "As the behemoth tore through the cosmic dust" First its swimming through fabric, now its tearing through dust. I like tearing though fabric. Keep your image consistent.   "a small planet appeared on its radar." does this world even know what a radar is?   "It seemed to have plenty of food and swallowing it whole would be easy. " I'm starting to get lost, what seemed to have plenty of food? Maybe talk about how the creature considered its bounty and knew swallowing it whole would be easy.   " It needed easy prey." why? Wouldn't all planets be easy prey? Would you even consider a planet prey when it is nothing more than a ball of rock and not even alive? Can this just be deleted?   "It swam and fell down" How do you swim and fall down at the same time?   "globe " just use planet or rock or celestial body. Not globe. Globe is too puny for a planet.   "But something fired back from it." I thought it blinked out of existence? What did it fire back??? You don't mention this previously.   "The meal was replaced by a scream that the void of space absorbed in its entirety." Noun replaced by a verb is wrong and in its entirety is an uncomfortable phrase. Consider "The leviathon's feeding was replaced by its screaming that no one, thankfully, on Barenea heard due to the void of space absorbing the sound. Else surredly, the entire people on the planet would have gone completely insane." or something like that.   "The planet had disappeared and with it, unbeknownst to the creature, a piece of it." Hmm, actually, no something fired on it and it felt the sting in its neck. That is wholly different from the planet disappearing and taking a spine.   "On land, the blissful ignorance of the fact that a massive creature could have destroyed Barenae was quickly replaced by panicked eyes and the panic of the Jeber'zin." woaaa...um, this whole paragraph is confusing me. The first paragraph is about the origin story of the needle. But, what did the leviathon do? What did the people do about their forest suddenly being torn up, seeing the body of a space giant come near them, them blinking out of existence (if they are aware of that), and then suddenly a big spine appearing in the ground. I feel very short-changed here from an awesome story. Oh, that paragraph DOES say all that. It needs some reorganization.   It seems suddenly you are going from the present, then talking about it as if it were "old records". If so, start the whole section with the "old records tell the story"   "but the Needle had other plans" Do not capitalize needle. You use needle, spire, rock, and spine to describe this thing. when you use many different words, it is hard for me to develop my own image in my head of what I am seeing. I recommend settling on what you want me to imagine, then using words/phrases to elicit that image.   "The pain coursed through the spine for years." It's alive?? IT'S ALIVE!!! muhahahahaha Seriously, It's alive and feels pain?   "The earth around the base splintered and revealed a deep well of toxic liquid. All life on the clearing wilted and the trees turned into rotten carcasses. The goblins buried their dead and abandoned the crash site, unknowingly carrying the mark of the Needle. Many died days and weeks later to illness, although fortunately, it did not spread through the rest of Hadana." What time frame did this happen? Quickly or slowly. That information would add to the narrative. "Crash shit" don't call it that. I'm not sure that is what it is since it was caused by something brushing up against it. That's not quite a crash site. That's a very modern term. Don't capitalize Needle.   "The goblins buried their dead and abandoned the crash site, unknowingly carrying the mark of the Needle. Many died days and weeks later to illness, although fortunately, it did not spread through the rest of Hadana." Consider, "The goblins buried their dead and abandoned the rotten earth. Though they thought that leaving the area was enough to keep those that remained safe, they were unknowingly carrying the mark of the needle with them. Many were to still die in the days and weeks ahead. Fortunately, it did not spread through the rest of Hadana."   "With the animals dead and the population unsure of how to deal with the disaster, the area was considered to be too contaminated to be habitable, so the center of Hadana became unreachable by foot. Any person riding an aerial mount could scout the area, although the visibility was greatly impaired by the dense smoke that had formed on the clearing and its surroundings. Only thorned vines grew across the ground, where insects and mutated toads took hold of the Needle's domains, while the Jeber'zin managed to overcome their differences in their common interest to push the corruption back." Consider   "Animal and plant life around the site were dead, as were many goblins who once lived there. A dense smoke formed within the clearing and into its surroundings, dangerously reducing visibility. Unsure of how to deal with the disaster, the people of Hadana labeled the area too contaminated to be habitable and unreachable by foot. However, those riding an aerial mount and braving the dense smoke could somewhat scout the area. Life did return to the area, but only thorned vines, mutated insects, and transmuted toads that did not appear anywhere else on the planet. Eventually, the Jeber'zin managed to overcome their differences and, in pursuit of a common interest, worked together to push the corruption back. Many considered this the only good thing to come from the disaster, though it was a large price to pay."   Wells of ill and brands "As the mist faded with the decades" Consider, "As the decades passed, so did the vile smoke." Mist and smoke are two different things. Keep your images consistent.   "the Goblin clans of Hadana, now under the flag of the Kunin'zin, composed a spell to incinerate the air around the Needle and purify the toxins." Make this a little clearer how they came together. Connect it a little stronger. Did they come together under the new flag? Maybe mention that in the previous section.   "Even with the combined force of the best casters of all of the tribes, it wouldn't have been enough if not for the Sylvan Light, that finally decided to show up and channel the first blaze into the arcane circle." Consider, "However, even the combined for of the best casters of all the tribes wasn't enough. If not for the Sylvan Light, they efforts would have been in vain. They did decide to show up and help the goblins and channeled the first of many blazes into the arcane circle that was created by the goblins."   Continuing, "The first blaze began to spark into an infernal torrent..."   "The fire could be seen from all the section of Ku'Bani" sections?   " the Needle stayed" don't capitalize needle. It's not a proper noun.   " still honoring the Dead" do not capitalize dead.   The boons "However, the Spear is" settle on one image. I get that you call it many different alternative names, but unless you describe to me what it looks like such that it would EARN all these names, it is simply too disparate, and I have no clue what it looks like.   "If properly caught with glass containers," collected, not caught.   "very powerful venom" venom comes from animals, but it could still be poison.   "utilize to erode the environment to excavate as they see fit." Consider "utilize to excavate the environment as they see fit."   "have also been sometimes turned better through the years and under the careful treatment of the goblins there. " reword this.   " The Ink farms are tended to in a careful manner and its material is one of the best for high-quality government documents or precise arcane incantations." where does the ink come from and does it have anything to do with anything? Seems non-sequitor. Is it the only crop that grows there? Is it harvested from the only mutated crop that grows there?   "categorization of individuals around divination and personality definitions." Not sure how divination fits in here?   " and very wary of changes" changes should be singular.   "hardworking, perfectionists, and very wary of changes. They are practical, but they have a big heart and an optimistic outlook." Are perfectionists really practical? Can you be both wary of change and optimistic about it?   "This horoscope" what horoscope? Can "an annual categorization of individuals around divination and personality definitions." just not become "a horoscope based on how individual personality traits reflect the particular landmark"   "The Needle was chosen alongside another 10 landmarks of Ferolia..." end with, And that is how it became known as "The Seamstress".