Wheelie Mobilies

DESIGNATION: A-2003

THREAT LEVEL: GUM WRAPPER

 
Wheelie Mobilies make life feelie breezie!
— Wheelie Mobilies tagline
  A-2003 is a pair of bright neon green-and-blue sneakers with wheels in their heels. When worn, they cannot be removed— and propel their wearer wherever they please until they decide the wearer is "cool."  

Anomaly Description

A-2003 takes the form of a gaudy pair of neon-green sneakers. Circles and squares are sprinkled along its surface in a sickening neon-blue, the same color of the sole, beneath. Embedded into each heel is a neon-green wheel, allowing for "breezie" movement. The sneakers are always the perfect size for whoever finds them.   When worn, A-2003 cannot be removed by the wearer, and the embedded wheels will begin to spin rapidly— carrying the wearer wherever the shoes wish. No matter how hard they try, the wearer will be unable to place the front of their feet down to brake, or lift their feet off the ground except to perform tricks. It is only when the wearer is considered "cool" by A-2003 that the sneakers will allow themselves to be removed. The sneakers' idea of "cool" is, unfortunately, rather outdated— including not only the successful performance of "sick" tricks with the shoes (such as grinding on the edge of a table, doing a flip off of an angled wall, or spinning in midair), but dressing and acting in a manner that was trendy when the shoes were first created. This includes spiking one's hair, wearing sunglasses indoors, lots of denim, and using words such as "sick," "radical," "gnarly," and "brah."    
Wheels? In shoes?! It was never gonna work— of course the company disappeared! I'm sure it was from embarrassment, they knew what they'd done and they just couldn't, in good conscience, stick around to see the consequences of their dark creation.
 

Anomaly Containment Procedures

A-2003 is to be contained within a shoebox, and locked in a safe with a code that is— under no circumstances— to be shared with Ekaj Folks unless we want another incident, which we very much do not want to repeat. Do not so much as inform Ekaj of A-2003's location within Containment, better safe than sorry.  

Logs for A-2003

Incident #2003-4
Date: 20011/4/13
Location: ACF Headquarters
Anomalies involved: A-2003, A-288
Personnel involved: Ekaj Folks
  Written log
Note: A-2003 must be locked away, so that Ekaj cannot cause any more chaos.
  Ekaj folks, in a particularly troublesome mood, procured A-2003 from containment, and introduced the sneakers to A-2881— a talking rhesus macaque with telekinetic abilities (hence their nickname, "Magic Monkey," which personnel often shorten to "Maj"). A-2881, not being aware of the sneakers' anomalous property, happily donned the sneakers— and was immediately sent speeding through the IT department, telekinetically shoving obstacles aside as he sped along helplessly. This, unfortunately, included personnel, several of whom were injured in the process.   It wasn't until A-2881 had reached the on-site Agnew Sr.'s, and performed an admittedly sick telekinetic flip off of a grill, that A-2003 finally came free.   -End Log-
  Experiment #2003-3
Date: 2012/8/23
Head researcher: Dr. Dee
Subject: Lemming
Description: Subject was given A-2003, told how to remove them, and released into an indoor skate park.
Result: Subject was unable to be considered "cool" by the sneakers for a period of five days, at which point A-2003 presumably felt bad for the subject, and released themselves from them.
Notes: A-2003 now shrinks to a size too small when presented to Lemmings, future experiments must be done with other personnel.
  -End Logs-

Comments

Author's Notes

Feedback is very much welcome! Whether on the content, or the formatting! Please, point out typos if you spot any!


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6 Jul, 2022 17:21

You combined Heelies with Hans Christian Anderson's The Red Shoes, and I am so here for it! I was cackling out loud the entire time I was reading (good thing no one else is home *glances about nervously*)

Reading Circle Temple Because magic isn't just fiction
Sage Timepool
Garrett Grace Lewis
6 Jul, 2022 22:05

I'd never heard of The Red Shoes before! Wild story, that. Glad it got a laugh! I made myself laugh too much while writing it haha

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