Operation Thingamajig: Out Now!
Look, I have no idea what the hell happened in HR, but, someone more aware apparently activated the Pineapple Protocol. Whatever was in there was deathly allergic to pina colada. Anyway, regardless of what it was, it hired a bunch of new personnel. Now, don't worry if you are among these new hires— we scanned you in your sleep, and you're clean. Conveniently, we have a need for new blood right now anyway— as we undergo Operation Thingamajig. You'll find the full report on your new assignment below.
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