Pack your things, we're going to the moon.
Why, is it haunted again?
— Tired Jim
No, we've been challenged to a game of discogolf by the president of Zambia— and I am not going to lose again.
Lunar Luxury Discogolf is the premiere discogolf course, one frequented by the ultra wealthy and political elite. It is located on one of the world's most exlcusive locales— the moon.
History
The history of the Lunar Luxury Discoglf course is simple: one day Ellie Dusk woke up, and said to herself.
I'm going to build a discogolf course on the biggest disco ball in the world— the moon.— Ellie Dusk, Besla CEO
And then she did, much to the chagrin of nearly everyone on Earth.
Orbital Oasis
The Lunar Luxury Discogolf course has become a popular destination for the world's elite, particularly due to its extreme isolation which ensures that only those with access to spacefaring vehicles, or the wealth to afford Besla's exorbitant shuttle prices, are able to visit. Some visit weekly to play its unique low-gravity courses, some to enjoy the scenery, others visit to mingle with the other guests— many political deals have been made on the course— and some stay there as long as possible, making use of the on-site hotel. Its exclusivity and gravitational uniqueness, however, mean that the site is one of very few banned from hosting
International Discogolf Associates Foundation (IDGAF) tournaments.
"Fine, you win, senator— I'll vote to outlaw chewing gum."
"Now, I know we have plenty of billionaire tax breaks, but what of the poor, poor gazillionaires?"
"If you can beat the course backwards, I'll get you that meeting with my client, you in?"
"Forget discogolf, we settle this like men— meet me in the bathroom in 5."
"Look I'm sure Reelberg is a great director, but 5 billion dollars tells me you're going to let my daughter direct your next blockbuster instead."
— Overheard on the course
The course is contained under a massive glass dome, which has only leaked twice in the three years since its construction was completed! The majority of the course's facilities lie at the southern edge, including a grand lobby, a lunar
Agnew Sr.'s, power generators, life support, a gift shop selling cheap baubles for luxury prices, a small hotel, and a five-star bathroom. A large northern section of the site is walled off to all guests. Strange sounds, including screams, odd music, and ghastly moans, can be heard emanating from the wall— even over the myriad explosions regularly heard throughout the course.
Dome of Dread
Unbeknownst to most who visit, the Lunar Luxury Discogolf course is built over an ancient alien burial ground. Visitors occasionally encounter strange phantoms, sudden changes in temperature, haunting whispers, and mysterious loss of their keys— but Besla insists that all of these, especially the latter, are simply due to poor memory. The sounds from beyond the wall? Merely ambience.
The
ACF is aware that Ellie Dusk is plotting something, but with her consistent track record of hilarious failures— and a free lifetime pass for ACF executives— the foundation has done nothing to stop her.
Ah, crazy people with too much money, the scourge of humanity. Great article!
Thank you!