Inadequate Adventure

Visit Inadequate Adventure! The only amusement park where you are never good enough to get on the rides. Don't believe us? Get over here and prove us wrong!
  Here at Inadequate Adventure, you bring the inadequacy, we provide the adventure!  

Never Enough

APRA Small 8.png
It doesn't matter if you want to ride our famous Screamer coaster, or the teacups— you'll never be fit to ride. For one attraction you may be too tall, for another, too small.   For the pool, you're not cool, and if you're hungry, you don't have enough money. If you want to ride Stick It! you won't have enough tickets, if you want to skate, you'll have to wait, for our shows, you're too slow, and if you want to leave, you don't believe. In here, you can go where you think you're able— but you'll always find yourself incapable.    

Things To Do (if You Were Good Enough)

If you were actually qualified, you could do many— very fun, we might add— activities throughout the park. Along the west end we have our famous Screamer coaster— which none of our guests have survived. (None of our guests have been on it, either.) If you're not ready for the Screamer, you could try your luck with the teacups, carousel, or pool— all of which you won't be good enough for, either.   Tired after walking around the park and finding nothing to do? Why not take a break, and get a snack— oh wait, you can't afford it.  
Despite being site director, I seem entirely unable to unlock the door to my office. I've tried every key I, and everyone else on site, has available. Someone tried to kick the door off its hinges, but broke their shin in the process. No one else seems able to enter their offices, either. I don't know how anyone is supposed to work when none of us are able to enter the facility.
— Antonia ██████████, Site Director
Alright, I'll admit, that's a funny joke— but please stop playing games, or you're all fired. We haven't received a single document from your site.
— Ash Ngo, APRA Director
Inadequte Adventure
 

Directions

If you think you're adequate (you aren't) find us on Tough St. in Durban, South Africa   Open from:
Any time you're not free - When you're free

Sampson Hotel

If you plan to explore the park over the course of a longer vacation, you can stay at the nearby Sampson Hotel which will provide a shuttle to the park throughout the day, every day of the week.   The shuttle, however, will almost always be late, broken down, or otherwise unable to actually transport you.
 

Viability Report

Number of Incidents: Unknown
Threat Level: Peppermint(?)
  Almost no one can enter the park, not even our own personnel. As an amusement park, potential guests would come in droves— eager to prove the advertising wrong. They would all, however, be turned away after finding the ticket prices changed, their ovens on, or feeling sick. Everyone lost on this venture, even if I somehow do not possess high enough clearance to access the site logs— I can see that this was a gigantic waste of time and money.   Logs for A-1000
████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████  
  ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████  
  ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████  
 

Viability: Poor

It is in my opinion that this attraction be, shut down immediately— or at least, as soon as someone is able to access the proper documents again.
— Bwanbale ████, Viability Reviewer

Comments

Author's Notes

Feedback is very much welcome! Whether on the content, or the formatting! Please, point out typos if you spot any!


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Sage Dylonishere123
R. Dylon Elder
17 Apr, 2021 09:07

Oooo that's a downer, but a funny one? I definitely got a laugh and the nature of this park really leaves ones with a sense of confusion. Why advertise at all? That gets me wondering... me thinks this park is looking for someone. I wonder what happens if someone adequate happens to show up....     One typo I found is in the header. I think its supposed to be, Viability: Poor. Otherwise nothing found. Well done as always. This one was rather unique.

Sage Dylonishere123
R. Dylon Elder
17 Apr, 2021 09:07

Correction... I cant read. Disregard the typo.

Sage Timepool
Garrett Lewis
17 Apr, 2021 17:39

Thanks! That's part of the joke haha, I think it's hilarious that they have NO GOOD REASON to advertise yet continue to do so.

Sage Dylonishere123
R. Dylon Elder
17 Apr, 2021 17:50

I mean hey, gotta give them props for dedication. Way to stick to their guns, though I'd say it may be a sinking ship....   Wait... they advertise! How? How do they manage to advertise if no one can get anywhere? Videos would require access to the park, flyers need printers... This rabbit hole just gets deeper and deeper XD who is doing this!? Maybe I completely missed it, but I find that absolutely hilarious.

Sage Timepool
Garrett Lewis
18 Apr, 2021 04:57

The world may never know...

24 Apr, 2021 16:18

This is both hilarious and... awful? What a frustrating experience going there would be, if you get there. XD

Sage Timepool
Garrett Lewis
25 Apr, 2021 07:17

Don't worry, you won't!

26 Jul, 2021 21:31

Jfc, I think I've been trapped in this park since I graduated college. O_O

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