The ruins of City of Fountains lays at the border between the Glorious Kingdom of Eglen and the Democratic Republic of Duscurybanr. The valley in which it lays is currently controlled by Eglen.
In the travel diary of the great explorer Josh a City of Fountains is described. Said to be inhabited by a great and wealthy people, whom filled the city with technological marvels.
The city gets ruined after the dam upriver of it breaks, and the flash flood flushes the city away.
After a war Ïlamya Augustine founded the Glorious Kingdom of Eglen and became it's first king. See also Time line of the Kings of Eglen
Ïlamya IV, King of Eglen conquered the easteren provinces that lay until then indepent between the Glorious Kingdom of Eglen and the Democratic Republic of Duscurybanr
This was the first time a full expedition was organised, and archeologists, scientists, and historians explored the ruins of the City of Fountains, also known as Alei Faruna Baraji.
Duscurybanr builds a dam in the Scrada river, upriver of Alei Faruna Baraji. Well into their terretory, diverting the flow of the river, and resulting in the drying out of the valley in which the City of Fountains lies.
Democratic Republic of Duscurybanr hoists a secret research expedition to the City of Fountains, and take a lot of artifacts to their country.
The Glorious Kingdom of Eglen hosts a second big expedition to Alei Faruna Baraji, this time several years long.
The researchers from the Glorious Kingdom of Eglen find out that alot of artifacts they left during the First archaeological expedition by Eglen are now missing! They blame the Democratic Republic of Duscurybanr, they must have stolen them!
Due to the instability of the leadership of the Glorious Kingdom of Eglen, they are without a king, and ruled by a Council, these tensions stay unsolved for long.
A piece treaty is signed betweent the two nations. It is agreed that no further digging shal be done in Alei Faruna Baraji, to perserve what is still there, and that nothing shall leave the city.
Augustine, 24th Duke of Skop, High lord of the Council, is the signer for the Glorious Kingdom of Eglen. The fact that he is not the king, gives Eglen room to say the treaty is not valid.
Ongoing third expedition in Alei Faruna Baraji, the City of Fountains, by the Glorious Kingdom of Eglen
Due to the use of the selfassigned subscriber groups, I know that for judges it is hard to see all the text. But I can assure you that the wordcount of the two POV-versions together does not go over the limit set.
The two perspectives on the same people is fun. I'd do a quick check for grammar, spelling & punctuation, but its a good read!
Please point out any errors a bit more specifically. I do not see them, I rely heavily on ProWritingAid to catch mistakes for me. English is not my first language, it's Dutch :).
But thank you for the comment!
Can't read it because I cannot join one of the sides. "There are no more slots! You have not been given the group. Message the owner of the world."
The valley in which it lays is currently controlled by Eglen - lays should be lies in the city. And from this justify - this should be one sentence - join city to and with a comma And the fact that they survived makes them blessed by god obviously. - is very awkward - try "The survivors of this event were considered to be blessed by the gods by their neighbors" instead blood, citizen of - citizen should be the plural form "citizens" the old age the Eglonion Nobles still reach is a - this should be a new sentence and rephrased would be "Elgonion Nobles reach a very old age which is seen as a sign..." he citizen of Alefrunabar - citizen should be plural "citizens" fantasy. But we have just - put this together "fantasy, but have just" isn’t even any - there is no ones. But - ones, but are the once carved - once should be "ones" no divisions between letters, words and sentences. - there is no verb in this sentence - should probably be "there are no divisions..." But also the only remains are the once carved in stone. - so you make these two mistakes often so I'll try to explain... we don't start a sentence with the word "But". The words "once" and "ones" are not the same even though they sound the same (kinda) - once is a past tense point in time word as in "once upon a time" or "once he did this then that happened". The word you want is a person reference like "the ones who haunt the dark" or in the pronoun "someone" which is oddly the actual spelling of the number one itself. records where - records were - where is a place, were is a past tense form of the word "to be" in the time since - I would completely delete this phrase - it isn't needed at all and is clearer without it got wiped out - was wiped out - this is really nitpicky on my part, but it's much better english Washing away everyone and everything that wasn't solid stone. - this is a phrase, not a sentence - it doesn't have a self contained subject, so needs to be tied into the previous sentence so it modifies the word "engulfed" (the phrase modifies how the flood engulfed the city) - this is the same problem with the word "but" - it means the words that you are writing modify a word in the previous sentence and the words are a phrase, not a sentence. wrath of God. They made it - the tenses here don't match - God should either be plural (the gods) or the word "They" should be made into a singular "He" or "She" - depends on whether there is only one god or multiples and if the god if there is only one is a feminine or masculine aspect of the divine. got to vain. - got too vain (too means "in excess" here as opposed to the number 2 or the atricle "to" It is told that - It is said that - verb form build over - built over - use past tense here rather than present tense people, with a rather simple name of - I would delete all these words! They aren't needed at all. Hope this helps. I feel like I'm being very critical, and I don't mean to be. I did like the article!
If you need any help deciphering my private post try making it wider - it should stop wrapping. If that doesn't help we can jump on Discord if you think it would help!