Orlendian Insults

A fine selection of insults you may happen to hear when visiting The Isles of Orlend.

You may find obscene language gracing your ears during your travels to The Isles of Orlend, particularly as you step onto the bustling ports of Bradstowe. Don't be alarmed! The lower class folks here use harsh banter to keep their spirits up, and they aren't nearly as threatening as the words they use.   Here are a handful of common phrases to help you get by and understand what all the shouting is about.  

Orlendian Insult Meaning
Bilge talker! Someone who speaks falsely and impolitely.
Lap-clapper! A prostitute.
Mrs. Baggywrinkle! A very old prostitute. Also the name given to old chafing gear ropes on ships.
Brat! Short for bilge rat. Considered the lowliest creature by sailors.
Pox-faced Sea Elephant! An ugly person.
Vicarbane's gaping maw! A woman's private parts.
Oi, crocklemouth! A person infected with severe and grotesque mouth sores.
If you're feeling confident in the shoreside markets and taverns, try exchanging some banter with the locals and see what friends you can make! (There's nothing a free pint won't fix if it goes wrong!)

Random Orlendian Insult Generator

Roll the Dice
1You skulking bilge talker!
2Keep your fetid rockpool away from me, lap-clapper!
3What's your mam's name? Mrs. Baggywrinkle?
4Piss off, brat!
5Your missus is a pox-faced Sea Elephant!
6You're so old yer neck looks like vicarbane's gaping maw!
7Oi, crocklemouth! Don't steal my mug!



Cover image: by TJ Trewin

Comments

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4 Apr, 2019 01:39

Lap-clapper is still my favorite. I giggle everytime I read it.

5 Apr, 2019 15:56

I love how each of these kind of feel Victorian, which Melior seems to use as a major inspiration. They feel like they belong here and I wouldn't be surprised if one or two are actually historically acurate XD

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