Alone with my thoughts.
4th of Calistril, 5623

I honestly don't know how he did it, how he managed to live with the drow in the Underdark for years without breaking down, being tortured, enslaved or killed. I couldn't even go a day without giving us away for apologising of all things. The whole place makes my skin crawl, I'm not sure I could pass for a convincing drow if I tried. Next time I think it's cast first then start talking. That will probably get us further. Or maybe not if Pin keeps going off and landing us in these messes, I'm not sure of she was playing the part or is just that dumb to draw attention to ourselves IN A DROW HOUSE. I'm decently certain staying with this lot will be the end of me, but my lady put me with them for a reason and I shall see this through until that reason becomes clear.   At least we got out of there alive though, not sure how true that is going to be about their journey into house Umbra. I felt something... happen... to Kazric. Apparently the rest of the party did as well, through me. I don't know why I (we?) keep having these visions, of everybody and everything being connected, and feeling each others emotions. Guess it's just more about these mesmerist powers that I still don't know about. Hell, the crown prince of the empire hadn't come across my sort of magic before. I honestly don't know if I should keep doing it else we get into more trouble but I'm going to anyway, it has helped me survive so far so I hope it keeps doing so.   Also I'm not sure what Aniks is trying to do, using his 'gift' from a god as a bartering piece with drow like it's his to give? I'm pretty sure all gods and demon lords and other deities aren't idiots so there must be a reason she chose him. I doubt he'd listen though, or he's already thought the same. He sounds pretty desperate to get rid of it so I won't stand in his way. I need to read more about the gods champions and the last time they arose, especially if I am accompanying quite a few of them, hopefully I can find some time when we get back to the surface.