A Bad Wife

There once was a dwarf from Stoneforge Hammerfell
He had a bad wife and this many knew well
This evil little woman, so filled up with hate
That when she got to screaming all else would abate
Well one day a demon comin' from the abyss
Went to the man and said I would be remiss
If I didn't note your wife as evil in her swells
So let me take your lady with me to the nine hells
He thought just one moment then the man did agree
Please take her, Please take her and I'll finally be free
A wry smile spreads upon the devil's face
Then won't you excuse me while we both leave this place.

The devil took the lady, stuffed her in a pack
And flung her o'er his shoulder like a peddler's sack
He trudged all the way down to hells giant gate
Tossed the sack to some imps, "Have a dwarven chap's mate"
The imps pulled her out to bind her up in chains
But she broke free and then she went and beat out their brains
She slammed the poor devil up against a wall
You better let me go before I murder you all!
The devil looked around at his minions all slain
Then he took this evil lady to her husband again
Now I've been a tormentor the whole of my life
But ne'er was tormented till I met with your wife.

Background

The song is a jaunty tune and often a tavern favourite. The race and location of the husband is frequently changed to suit where it's being sung, but the rest of the tune remains more or less the same.

Real world inspiration

The song is a parody of "The Farmer's Old Wife" (author unknown)
The rhythm of this song utilizes the flow of "The Assumption Song" by Arrogant Worms.