A response to first contact Document in The Aliens | World Anvil
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A response to first contact

Dear humanity.   We picked up on your probe, Pioneer 11, shortly after you sent it on it's way into the universe.   Firstly, we would like to ask that you learn what clothes are. You have external sexual organs dangling down (or, half of you do) and we request that you cover them in most public places. We apologise for the inconvenience this may cause your women (whom we assume are the ones with the lower body sacks)   Secondly, we would like to request you request entry to the Galactian Prime. We are a collection of intelligent species throughout what you call the Milky Way galaxy.    Thirdly, we have just completed a period of investigation into your planet. Our five pioneers (Not related to your probe) have reported back that you seem a species fitting for our peaceful organisation, and are therefore requesting that we contact you in a more formal method, this letter.   We would send this to your leader however preliminary investigation shows that you do not have a leader, instead existing as the 'United Nations'. So this message is being sent to every world leader.   Yours   The Galactian Prime   PS: Please learn better mapping skills. We assume those lines are a map. We couldn't work it out. What's wrong with hologrammic images? Or even a flat image? Those are so much simpler than lines. If we hadn't already discovered you, we wouldn't have discovered you.   PPS: We have been trying to learn your main written language. We can't. Please get more letters than 'I' and '-'   PPPS: We have translated the ship name. Pioneer is a good name.

Purpose

Sent to humanity after its observation in the Earth year 2016.
Type
Announcement, Invitation
Medium
Digital Recording, Text
Location
Signatories (Organizations)

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Comments

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Aug 4, 2021 04:30 by Laura VanArendonk Baugh

I laughed aloud at "please get more letters than 1 and -." Great work.

Aug 4, 2021 16:48 by Ava S. Jones

Thank you!

Dec 11, 2021 15:36

The remark about sexual organs is hilarious!

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